Sightlines before small talk
It’s not uncommon for clients of any age who come into the clinic with a wish to work on social skills to be struggling with some skills from the earliest stages of neurotypical social development, specifically ones that involve making social connections. One of the most basic of these is following gaze, which is also referred to as following a sightline.
A sightline is defined as the invisible line between a person’s eyes and the object (or person) at which they are looking. We can get a plethora of social information from following a sightline. Sightlines can signal the location of an object someone wants, or they can tell us what or whom someone is thinking about. If we pair a sightline with facial expressions/body language, we can make a reasonable guess at what someone might be thinking, and if we can do that, we can often predict what they will do. If we can make an educated guess about what they might do, we can be prepared to respond. The ability to follow sightlines is a critical part of teaching perspective-taking, and is necessary to have in place before moving to more advanced social interaction skills such as small talk and conversation.
We weave in fun to teach the basics of sightlines at MMTA, with games like “follow my eyes” where motivating items are partially or fully hidden around the room and the client has to find each based on following the gaze of another. We have hidden everything from puzzle pieces to Super Mario Brother characters to plastic bugs. Whatever is motivating and fun for the client! Once they can do this, we move to teaching that what a person is looking at is often what they are thinking about. We practice by looking at things around the room, encouraging our clients to follow a sightline by asking: “What am I thinking about?” Taking that a step further, we ask a client to name our emotion as well, and then, linking the emotion with the sightline, ask them to generate a specific thought that the person may be having. It’s not unusual to see a therapist walking around in the clinic with a thought bubble on a dry-erase board over her head. This exercise can also be done in static pictures and in paused video scenes, figuring out what characters’ sightlines tell us.
Whatever medium is used to teach them, sightlines are an essential building block of social interaction. See our Shop Products page for some materials to start teaching them!
Let’s keep connecting…through sightlines and so much more ;)
f you think you or someone you love needs help with social skills, explore our Services page, or click here for a free 15-minute consultation to see how we can help.
