Did you ask them?
A young child crawled under a therapist’s table. The therapist was working hard to entice the child out from under the table with toys, offering one after another. An older child walked by, observed for a moment, and said, “Did you ask them what they want to play with?”
Similarly, a mantra around here, at MMTA, is “Did you ask them why they did what they did?”. It’s kind of amazing how often a client does something that surprises people and everyone around them goes into overdrive trying to guess the reason rather than just asking them. And the reasons, just like the behavior, will often surprise you. Maybe they covered their ears because the light was too bright. Maybe they brought someone a present of a half-eaten apple because they enjoyed the apple so much and wanted that person to enjoy it, too. Maybe they shouted because they had held it in all day and it just happened to come out right then. Or maybe they don’t know, either, and that’s okay, but we could be much further ahead in our ability to respond to them if we just ask.
Knowing the why can turn a “problem” into a moment of connection and understanding, and our work is so much more effective when we start there. It’s also way more effective to plan for a future eventuality if we know what it is!
Let’s keep connecting…
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